YIN

oh man, i am such a badass. yeah baby!

do you know how many girls flock over me?! huh?!

you DON’T have any idea..

***

is it just my imagination, or is everybody falling for me? lol.

it’s fascinating how girls easily fall for boys who they think are heart broken, needs care, and who will greatly appreciate attention. little do they know, that im just here, sitting and waiting for my prey!

im single and lovin’ it! my life is happy happy happy! i am single. single. SINGLE. SINGLE! you hear that people?! SINGLE! wahaha!

***

one time, i flirted with this girl who’s still in a relationship. unknown to her, i secretly helped for them to break up! bakit kamo? kasi masarap ang bawal! hehehe.. i’d be the one to catch her when she falls, of course! we talked all night and day, sending love notes, good mornings and good nights, take cares and a whole lot more! we even made names for each other we were so sweet, we were like couples on honey moon.. before marriage!

it was a lot of fun.. and things got interesting whenever other girls come in.. some flirt like so-so, some even proposed their love on our third day after knowing each other hah! beat that!

what? i can’t help it. is it my fault to have a face of a god..?

***

i got girls to play with, girls to talk over the phone all night, girls to treat me out to lunch, and girls to care for me any time i am in need my friends are sooo funny, telling me stuff like, "ano ba yan,andaming nakapila sa’yo! pahingi naman!", "ang ganda mo talagang.. lalaki..!", "nakakainggit ka naman, ang daming nagkakandarapa sa’yo!"

ganun talaga it feels so good having people run around my fingers all day, thinking that they could get a piece of me! hah! they wish!

one time, i got involved deeply with this girl.. she was okay and all, but she was tall for me.. but i liked her she’s mine! and mine alone!..

.. back then.. :p

then she started calling me hers. of course, that would be case but since everyone knew, i stopped calling her mine, and told everybody that i’m not an object! "ako?! magpapa-angkin?! ASA NAMAN SILA! wahahaha!"

then this girl figured out what i was up to the whole time, she got mad and all goofy on me.. she said so many harsh words. war na kami ngayon! so.. di koh na siya kilala! :p

i mean, i know what im doing, i just don’t let them know that i am sometimes doing things on purpose..! ahah.. aww.. don’t you just love the innocent..? LOL

but then, that girl has a sister.. she’s so cute and gullible.. and.. so.. fragile.. she’s like my puppet now.. we go out every week.. her sister knows, but i don’t know why she doesn;t say a thing.. hmm.. i love dating..! hahah.. i can’t imagine how i make this look so easy.. :p

i think i better watch out for that girl’s sister.. i think she’s out to get me.. im scared.. LOL

but deep inside, i miss my hun :’c

just now, i realized that i can’t LIVE WITHOUT HER.. i know this sounds pathetic, but i am still in love with her :’c my heart breaks and my eyes well every time i remember our moments..

actually, I HATE BEING SINGLE! :’c

[select_all]

FCUK YOU FCUK THE WLROD AND ETHINVERYG TAHT YOU SNATD FOR. I HTAE YOU NOW MROE TAHN EEVR. FICKUNG CNUT.

this is my last flame about this topic, i guess.. f)uck whoever thinks the way as the paragraphs above. i HATE vanity and everything that goes with it. specially the person.

this is the first time in a long while that i got pissed like this. and to imagine, i want to crush the face of someone who doesn’t even know how to fight.

i know this is not a solution, but i just want my thoughts heard. kailan ka magbabago? this is nel’s embodiment of wrath, signing out. you’re fucked.

huwebes ika nga ng kapitbahay namin nung tinanong ko siya kung anong araw na ngayon.

napa-apir nalang ako sa malapad kong noo kasi may lakad pa naman ako, at alam kong hindi magiging maganda ang kinalabasan ng kung anuman ang gagawin ko.

***

pinapunta ako ng nanay ko sa meralco.
"ah sa U.E.?" banat ko sa kanya. "hindi, dyan lang sa navotas oh, ang lapit-lapit, magpapakalayo ka pa" pero tama ang iniisip niyo, sa U.E. pa din ako napadpad. hindi lang dahil sa hindi ko alam ang papuntang Meralco, Navotas. kundi may balak talaga akong pumuntang U.E. kaninang hapon.

dota day eh. walang magagawa.

pumunta ako sa shop matapos kong bayaran ang bill namin sa kuryente. sa kasamaang palad, wala doon yung mga kasama ko, at naubos pa ang load ko kakatext sa kanila, pero ni isa ay walang nagreply.. (globe kasi ako..) smart si kevin, at sun cellular naman ang gamit ni tj.

leshrac na buhay ‘to oo.

***

umuwi nalang ako, malamang.

umulan. biglaan. malakas.

ininda ko hanggang ambon nalang ang papatak sa ulo ko, at hindi ako magmumukhang bagong ligo pag sakay ng jeep. pagkatapos non, tricycle naman ang problema ko.

eh sira pa yung gulong sa likuran ng tricycle na nasakyan ko. (kung hindi niyo alam, tuwing sasakay ng trike, sa likod parati ako pumu-puwesto. di ko alam. gusto ko lang siguro malanghap ang *ehem* sariwang *ehem* hangin ng bayan namin. kaya tuwing pag uwi ko ay mukha akong panda dala ng usok sa kalye.

***

pag baba ko ng tricycle, sinabihan ko nalang yung driver "lolo, paki-ayos naman po ng gulong niyo sa likuran, kawawa yung mga sumasakay" habang pinapagpag yung taong-grasa-costume ko.

ayun at muli, tinamad nanaman akong magsulat.

*telephone rings*

ako: hello..
caller: hello, andyan po ba si <insert name here>?
ako: ay, wala pa po eh..
caller: ah san nagpunta?
ako: sa banko po, tapos may siningil..
caller: ano?
ako: sa bangko po
caller: ano?
ako: sa bangko po..
caller: ano?
ako: sa BANGKO po.
caller: ah, lumabas lang..? sige, tatawag nalang ako ulit..
ako: ah, may ipapasabi po ba kayo?
caller: sige, salamat
ako: teka, ano po pangalan niyo, sir?

*click!*
*beep–* *beep–* *beep–* *beep–*

ako: T4NG 1NA MOOOOOO!!!!!!

wala talaga akong pasensya sa mga taong walang pakundangang tumatawag dito sa bahay, at wala man lang iiwanang mensahe (pero okay lang yun) ang hindi ko matanggap, ay wala na ngang binilin, ay hindi man lang magsasabi ng pangalan!

para sa’kin, ang pagtawag sa telepono, ay kaparehas na din sa pagkatok sa pintuan ng mismong bahay. pupunta ka, mang-aabala, at ipapatawag yung taong gusto mong makausap. at ang pagpaparing ng telepono, at hindi pagsagot, ay katumbas na din ng ding-dong-ditch.

ang mga tipo naman ng mga taong katulad ng halimbawa ko sa taas, ay katulad ng gma taong pupunta sa bahay mo, hahanapin ang nanay mo, tapos, pagkatapos mong kausapin ng maayos, ay bigla nalang tatalikod at aalis ng parang walang nangyari.

yung mga tipong masarap habulin at hambalusin ng tsinelas sa ulo.

***

seriously, kung ganito lang naman ang gagawin niyo, ay huwag na kayong tumawag! ako palagi ang bantay ng telepono dito sa bahay, at sa isang daang kataong tatawag, dalawampu’t limang bahagdan noon ay mga magtatanong tungkol sa gamit, dalawampu’t tatlong bahagdan, ay may itatanong sa magulang ko, labing apat na bahagdan  ay wrong number, at ang natitirang dalawang porsyento ay para sa akin o kaya sa ibang kasambahay namin.

maaaring nagtataka ka kung saan napunta ang tatlumpu’t anim sa isandaang tatawag? ‘yun yung mga tawag na hindi natutuloy! hindi ko alam kung sinasadya ng ibang tao, o baka naman alam nilang napuputol ang internet connection ko tuwing ginagawa nila iyon!

tae nagriring nanaman ang telepono! tae talaga!

(nahirapan akong i-edit ‘to kasi nga, may tumatawag, di naman sinasagot.. oo, yung ditch, phone version. at oo, naputol ang connection ko)

naintriga lang ako sa text nung kaibigan kong nursing student..:

sabi ng HRM sa NURSING:
field trip niyo, bar tour lang namin.

sabi ng BUSINESS sa NURSING:
explanation niyo, parang sales talk lang samin.

sabi ng ARTS & SCIENCE sa NURSING:
thesis niyo, on-the-spot writing lang namin.

sabi ng NURSING sa LAHAT:
SUSUWELDUHIN NIYO, PANG CANDY LANG NAMIN.

sabi ng ENGINEERING:
rubbish.

sabi ko: waaaaaaaaahh =^_^=

jok lang.

***

wala lang.. hindi naman sa dinidiktahan ko yung mga nagnursing ngayong school year. hindi din ako tutol at ginawa nila iyon. buhay nila ‘yon. pera nila. este ng mga MAGULANG pala nila.

pero ang hindi ko lang matanggap ay pag tinanong ka kung bakit iyon (nursing) ang kinuha mong kurso.. ang malamang ang isasagot mo ay "ito ang uso eh" o kaya "ano ka ba! mataas ang bayad dito! pupunta akong amerika!"

ano daw?

hindi ba mas maganda kung tatanungin ka kung bakit iyon ang pinili mong kurso, ay makakasagot ka ng diretso at may buong puso, "kasi ito ang gusto ko!"

sabi ko: there goes my idealistic side again. rubbish.

recently, we have been playing this game where you catch different creatures, train them, battle with other trainers, and make your way to become the best master of the lot.

and i know that YOU! yes, you! the one who’s reading this now, have dreamt of catching the strongest, if not, the meanest looking monster to date.

pokemon! gotta catch ‘em all! now, why in the world would a group of college students be addicted to such a game when all we know is that the series are old, and the game is somewhat overrated? IT’S FREAKIN’ FUN that’s why.

r1: hey man, what’s up.
r2: pokemon.
r1: oh, who are you battling with?
r2: sabrina.
r1: OH! i love FORCUS ENERGY! use it dude! c’mon!
r2: okay here goes..
[ratata is getting pumped!]
r1: O YEAH! hahahahahaha
r2: LOL.. pump me up! hahaha

r1: i bet that skill goes well with harden!
r2: hahaha..
r1: HARDEN! FOCUS ENERGY! lol
r2: rar! haha

r1: then defense curl! go! light screen! haha
r2: go defense! haha..
r1: yeah! we cant fight so we just harden ourselves and pump! lol

see what i mean? erk.. that would’nt be half as fun without the choreography, skill moves, and the grunts..

there was a couple of uh.. men.. crossing the road. very bulky, i should say. they wore large shirts, sweet ice creams and your standard accessories, the only difference is - those accessories make them ghetto.

wild hiphopper appeared!
"yo yo yo"
go! goatboy!
"me-e-e-e-e!"

goat boy used black mantra!

<it doesn’t affect hiphopper!>

hiphopper used ice cream shoes of doom!

<goatboy flinches!>

hiphopper used soaring rap of death!

<critical hit!>

goatboy used meditate!

<nothing happened!>

goatboy used leer!

<hiphopper’s defense fell!>

hiphopper used.. scratch!

<goatboy flinches of gayness!>

hiphopper used thrash.. talk! <pun>

<nothing happened!>

goatboy used death bronze knuckles!

<hiphopper has equipped bling-bling!>

<bling-bling flashed!>

<goatboy missed!>

hiphopper used glock 9 gay gun!

hiphopper don’t know how to use other pussy weapons except guns!

so he threw the weapon to gb’s crotch!

<critical hit! goatboy fainted!>

crap i gotta get away from that game.

sa tagalog.. mukha ba talaga akong babae..?

kanina lang, sa isang fast food chain sa may tutuban, hindi ko mapigilang mapaisip dahil nang ako na ang oorder, ang banat sa akin ng babae sa cashier ay "god ibning ma– ser.. ano po order niyo..?"

nakakapagtaka dahil wala pang isang linggo ay nangyari din sa akin ‘to..

sa ibang restoran nga lang.

ang pinaka mahaba siguro ay sa intramuros.. kumain kami sa malapit lang sa paaralan namin, kasama ko ang dalawa sa mga kabarkada ko, nakaupo na sila, at ako yung oorder ng kakainin namin (alam ko, kasi magdodota kami non)

"good morning ma’am, may i take your order please?" natigilan ako.. nakangiti nalang akong lumapit sa kanya, nagpakita ng mukha, at pumili ng bibilhin.

mali pala yung counter na napuntahan ko, kaya pinalipat niya ako "ma’am, dito nalang po kayo, ma– ay sir pala.." tinawanan lang namin ang ideya hanggang "ano po ang order niyo ma’am? este, sir!" napatawa na din yung kasama niya sa likod..

o baka imahinasyon ko lang? o baka inaantok lang yung mga cashier sa mga oras na iyon at nagkataon lang na hindi nila ako nakikita?

napipilitan nalang ako magsalita ng malalim.. "UUHH.. MISS, ISANG LARGE FRIES NGA.. BILISAN MO HA, GUTOM NA YUNG MUSCLES KO EH" yung tipong lalaking lalaki talaga. yung parang puwede mo nang ilibing yung cashier sa lalim ng boses ko..

***

minsan hindi ko na talaga malaman sa mga fast food chains kung himihina ba ang kaledad ng kanilang serbisyo, ang performance ng kinukuha nilang crew, o talagang pana-panahon lang.

minsan may napuntahan kami ng kaibigan ko, ang kinuha lang namin ay dalawang order ng halo-halo. masarap ang aming malamig na merienda! may mga piraso ng langka, macapuno, sago, gulaman, beans, pinipig, monggo, garbanzos, hibla ng buko, gatas, ice cream, at madami pang iba! kulang nalang yata eh yung meat group, ay mabubuo na nito ang food pyramid.

pero kung gaano kadami ang rekado nito, ganoon din katagal yung serbisyo!

***

nakakalito din minsan yung ibang cashier (balik nanaman ako sa cashier) kasi minsan kailangan kong magpabarya ng buo kong pera (as if may pera talaga ako)

ako: miss, pabili nga po ng isang large fries.
babae: sir, may value meal po kami para doon. may float na pong kasa–
ako: hindi, sige, okay lang. fries lang kukunin ko.
babae: so, hindi na po yung meal.
ako: hindi na. large ha.
babae: ‘yon lang po ba, sir?
ako: opo
babae: sir, pie po?
ako: (nakukulitan na ako) di na, fries lang.
babae: okay. (habang nagpa-punch sa machine) sir, fries po? baka gusto niyo magdagdag?

pero ang pinagtatakhan ko talaga ay.. hindi naman talaga ako mukhang babae.. baka.. baka.. mukha akong bading..? hindi kaya..? oh noes.. wag naman sana….!!!!!!!!!

ang chaka ng trip ng lola mo.

the
poison that is love.

***

~* SCENE I - ACT I *~ ~*LOVERS WITHOUT SIGHT*~
Enter the fool & the broken

HARTINOMUS: OH! WHAT JOY! HOW COULD HAVE I FOUND SUCH THING SO GLEE! WHAT GREAT
LUCK THE GODS HAVE GIVEN ME!

HEMLIOCHE: OH! WHAT JOY! HAVE I REALLY BEEN BLESSED? HAVE I FOUND A STAR
AMONGST THE EMPTINESS OF THE NIGHT? A LIGHT TO GUIDE MY WAY! MY SAVIOUR FROM
THE SKIES!

HARTINOMUS: THROUGH LETTERS AND DOVE-SENT NOTES, THIS LONGING, GETTING STRONGER
TWO FOLDS! BUT I THINK THIS AFFAIR IS NOT PROPER! NEITHER FOR US BOTH!

HEMLIOCHE: CALM DOWN, MY LOVER. THE TRAGEDY HAS ALREADY SET FORTH.
ALREADY DEAD IS MY PRIOR! BE STILL NOW, AND LET THIS ADULATION DOTH! YOU LOVE
ME, DON’T YOU? I PRAY! SAY THAT YOU’LL STAY!

HARTINOMUS: BE NOT AFRAID, MY DEAREST, FOR I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. CHERISH EVERY
MOMENT, EVERY MEMORIES OF BLISS. TREASURE MY LOVE WHILE WE STILL HAVE THIS.

~*SCENE I - ACT II*~ ~*THE FOOL PONDERS*~
Exit the broken.

HARTINOMUS: NO. THIS IS NOT REAL. I SENSE A
YEARNING HEART AMIDST OUR WORDS OF FOLLY. I AM NOT ONE TO BE TAKEN SO
LIGHTLY. USE ME, ABUSE ME, BUT LOVE ME TRUE! I WILL NOT FALL. I WILL
NOT GIVE IN TO THESE ILLUSIONS THAT HAUNT MY VERY EXISTENCE. THE LIES
THAT I TOOK IN. I KNOW THESE THINGS. FOR I, MYSELF, YEARN FOR THE SAME
AFFECTION THAT SHE LACKS. BUT ALAS! FOR MY LADY, A LIFE WITHOUT ME SHE
HAS TO LIVE. SAD BUT TRUE, I HAVE NO HEART, I HAVE NO LOVE TO GIVE.

~*~

Sometimes

I feel I’ve got to run away
I’ve got to get away
From the pain
You drove into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I think I’ve lost my light
For I toss and turn
I can’t sleep at night

~*~

~*SCENE
II - ACT I*~ ~*CERBERUS*~
Enter the tribune of three.

HARTIMONUS: AYE! PRAISE THE GODS! HEAR ME! HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! I THINK I HAVE FOUND MY
HAPPINESS! I BELIEVE I HAVE FOUND MY HEART!

ELLIPTUUS: WHAT IS IT DEAR HARTIMONUS? WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY? ‘TIS A GOOD NEWS,
I’D WAGER! YOU HAVE BEEN SHOUTING! AND JUMPING ALL DAY!

HARTINOMUS: SHE STANDS IN ALL HER GLORY AND SHE SINGS WITH GOLDEN
TUNES! YOU KNOW HER NAME, YOU’VE SEEN HER TWO TIMES, NO, THREE! THE
NAME OF
MY HEART, MY DEAREST HEMLIOCHE.

REXOMANDER: OH MAY THE HEAVENS HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!
NO! PLEASE LET IT NOT BE HER! I BEG YOU, RECONSIDER! ANOTHER MAN’S
WOMAN IS THAT MAN’S OWN! SHE SHOULD NOT BE FIDDLED WITH NOR BE TAMED BY
ANOTHER!

HARTINOMUS: YES, TRUE.. BUT I..

REXOMANDER: I AM WARNING YOU!

HARTINOMUS: MY FATE STANDS PRESAGED.

-unfin-

[ctrl+a]

and.. yeah.. i don’t have to finish this one.. or should i way i don’t want..? sometimes there are just forces stronger than your own will. like those of people who know better and avoids conflict by preventing you from making unnecessary moves (keeps you from showing the materialized stupidity that you are). and the only thing that keeps you from doing what you want is because of the fact that you know they’re right.

the last time i edited this script was on may 5, ‘07. and i don’t think i am able to finish this before i’m dead. i don’t know what to write. but.. to be honest, i already have ideas on how to finish this thing, but then things will just go badly for everyone, the main character dies, (there! a spoiler! waha!) and the world just undergoes everlasting turmoil. aaaannd.. i just dont have the right push to write at the moment.

so, there you go. the poison that is love - unfinished. enjoy creeps

haha..

naka inom ako ngayon..

may amats ako kumbaga..

hrmm..

galing lang ako sa devut

dabut! devut amf.. shenglot.. galing lang ako sa debut ni pey..

***

bakit ako uminom..? hindi ko alam..

yung mga kateks ko di na nagreply..

chat nalang ako ngayon..

hay..

upload lang ako ng pics..

***

gusto ko sana sumama sa mga kasabay namin kanina.. :-> iikot sila timog.. shet sayang..

sinabayan ko nalang yung beast friend kong isa..

wawa naman kasi, walang kasabay.. ayun, dito nalang ako sa bahay uminom (in fairness, mas mabilis ako magtype.. at kinokorek ko yung typos ko..)

hmm.. yun lang..

tingin nalang kayo sa mga account ko para sa mga pics..

pagpalain kayo nawa

***

happy birthday fhaye khriz lim gaspar! ga, pakabait ka.. haha..

***

this is my 100th post.. YEY!

ugh.. now, i know what yagami light feels..

to change the world by using the death note.. to bring upon a world without criminals, thieves, senators, and kotong cops.

but ended up being a demented mass murderer..

***

-_- eliminate!